ICP
08-15-2008, 12:06 PM
I came across a site with a list of ice cream employees complaining about how stupid their customers are. Some of them were pretty funny so I decided to share them below.
But the point of these stories is that people will ask insanely stupid questions and you will likely have 16 year olds working for you - so you need to make sure you train them well and prepare them for the dumb questions so they don't belittle a customer and therefore lose you business.
In the stories below, some of the employees handle themselves well and others ... not so much. You can guess who will still have kept the customer and who will have lost their business forever.
Large Woman 1: “This is not my ice cream, I ordered the butter pecan! It’s simple–just scoop ice cream!”
Large Woman 2: “This is not my ice cream either, I ordered the maple walnut! How d*** complicated is it to give people the right ice cream?”
(Glancing at both of their ice creams, I realize that the problem was their fault, because they just took each other’s ice cream.)
Me: “Yeah, complicated…”
(I walked out back and looked at them on the security camera, until they realized they were the idiots, and left.)
(Hot summer day temperature in the nineties. Tons of people in line because the shop is in an amusement park and everybody wants soft ice cream, which makes the soft ice even softer as it doesn’t have time to chill properly.)
Male customer, who bought soft ice cream for his family 30 min or so earlier, comes up to the window very upset: “The soft ice cream is melting! My kids are a total mess!”
Me: “Well, it is hot outside, what are you gonna do?”
Customer: “You should put up a sign to let people know that it will melt!”
Me: “I don’t assume my customers are idiots.”
(Customer bangs the ice cream cone on the counter and storms off.)
The next customer in line looks at me and laughs: “I’ll guess I’ll just have the regular ice cream then.”
Ice Cream Shop | Florida, USA
Customer: “What kind of nut is in the pistachio?”
Me: “…you can’t be serious.”
Customer: “No, really, what kind of nut is in the pistachio?”
Me: “Pistachio.”
I wouldn't want the employee below working for me:
Ice Cream Shop | Florida, USA
Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”
Customer: “…okay.”
(A customer orders a sundae in a small banana boat. It’s two mounds of ice cream with hot fudge, pecans, whip cream, and a cherry.)
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I’d like the hot fudge pecan royale. Can you make it with twist ice cream?”
Me: “Yes. ”
Customer: “That comes with whip cream, right?”
Me: “Yes it does.”
Customer: “Good. I don’t want a cherry though, they’re fattening.”
Me: “…”
This one sounds like the customer was running a scam for free ice cream:
(I was a customer observing this in line, not the employee.)
Woman Customer: “I’d like a hot fudge sundae.”
(The worker makes a hot fudge sundae and presents it to customer.)
Customer: *eats spoonful of sundae* “The ice cream is melting.” *eats another spoonful*
Worker: “I’m sorry. It’s probably because there’s HOT fudge on top of it.”
Customer: *spoonful* “The ice cream is too soft. *spoonful* I can’t eat this.” *spoonful*
Worker: “I could try to remake it for you, or get you something else.”
Customer, still chowing down: “This is just awful.”
(The customer takes another spoonful–by this time about half the sundae is gone.)
Customer: “How do you expect people to eat this *spoonful* when the ice cream is so soft? *spoonful* The ice cream should be hard!” *spoonful*
Worker: “Would you like something else?”
Customer: *spoonful spoonful spoonful* Don’t bother. Just throw it away. *spoonful*
(The customer hands what little is left to the worker and stomps away indignantly, still complaining.)
My wife, not very quietly: “What a b***h!
Worker: *smiles at my wife*
But the point of these stories is that people will ask insanely stupid questions and you will likely have 16 year olds working for you - so you need to make sure you train them well and prepare them for the dumb questions so they don't belittle a customer and therefore lose you business.
In the stories below, some of the employees handle themselves well and others ... not so much. You can guess who will still have kept the customer and who will have lost their business forever.
Large Woman 1: “This is not my ice cream, I ordered the butter pecan! It’s simple–just scoop ice cream!”
Large Woman 2: “This is not my ice cream either, I ordered the maple walnut! How d*** complicated is it to give people the right ice cream?”
(Glancing at both of their ice creams, I realize that the problem was their fault, because they just took each other’s ice cream.)
Me: “Yeah, complicated…”
(I walked out back and looked at them on the security camera, until they realized they were the idiots, and left.)
(Hot summer day temperature in the nineties. Tons of people in line because the shop is in an amusement park and everybody wants soft ice cream, which makes the soft ice even softer as it doesn’t have time to chill properly.)
Male customer, who bought soft ice cream for his family 30 min or so earlier, comes up to the window very upset: “The soft ice cream is melting! My kids are a total mess!”
Me: “Well, it is hot outside, what are you gonna do?”
Customer: “You should put up a sign to let people know that it will melt!”
Me: “I don’t assume my customers are idiots.”
(Customer bangs the ice cream cone on the counter and storms off.)
The next customer in line looks at me and laughs: “I’ll guess I’ll just have the regular ice cream then.”
Ice Cream Shop | Florida, USA
Customer: “What kind of nut is in the pistachio?”
Me: “…you can’t be serious.”
Customer: “No, really, what kind of nut is in the pistachio?”
Me: “Pistachio.”
I wouldn't want the employee below working for me:
Ice Cream Shop | Florida, USA
Customer: “Oh, and could I also get a glass of milk?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t sell milk.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “Well, let’s see, I could make up a reason involving the phrase ‘health codes,’ I could act dumb and just get the manager, or I could just be a total jerk about it, but at the end of the day, you’re still not gonna get a glass of milk, so how about we just skip that whole thing?”
Customer: “…okay.”
(A customer orders a sundae in a small banana boat. It’s two mounds of ice cream with hot fudge, pecans, whip cream, and a cherry.)
Me: “Can I help you?”
Customer: “Yes, I’d like the hot fudge pecan royale. Can you make it with twist ice cream?”
Me: “Yes. ”
Customer: “That comes with whip cream, right?”
Me: “Yes it does.”
Customer: “Good. I don’t want a cherry though, they’re fattening.”
Me: “…”
This one sounds like the customer was running a scam for free ice cream:
(I was a customer observing this in line, not the employee.)
Woman Customer: “I’d like a hot fudge sundae.”
(The worker makes a hot fudge sundae and presents it to customer.)
Customer: *eats spoonful of sundae* “The ice cream is melting.” *eats another spoonful*
Worker: “I’m sorry. It’s probably because there’s HOT fudge on top of it.”
Customer: *spoonful* “The ice cream is too soft. *spoonful* I can’t eat this.” *spoonful*
Worker: “I could try to remake it for you, or get you something else.”
Customer, still chowing down: “This is just awful.”
(The customer takes another spoonful–by this time about half the sundae is gone.)
Customer: “How do you expect people to eat this *spoonful* when the ice cream is so soft? *spoonful* The ice cream should be hard!” *spoonful*
Worker: “Would you like something else?”
Customer: *spoonful spoonful spoonful* Don’t bother. Just throw it away. *spoonful*
(The customer hands what little is left to the worker and stomps away indignantly, still complaining.)
My wife, not very quietly: “What a b***h!
Worker: *smiles at my wife*